Timmy Johnston (the_untitled) wrote,
Timmy Johnston
the_untitled

No_code

Syntax.
Nah fuck that, I'll be plain.
I'm scared.
I forget things. Ordinary things. I do it a lot. Whole sentences. Statements that I have responded to. Not misinterpret, forget, gone, out of thin air.
I've had head scans, I'm on meds, on taking regular visits to the GP. I thought it was helping, now I'm not so sure.
I don't worry about going crazy, I like crazy. I'm scared that I will forget, myself, my loved ones, the stories I have, the things I think I know.
Is this old age? Surely not, I'm only 33. Stress? Most likely, but what do I sacrifice? What can be sacrificed? The only thing I could lose is one of my passions, and everyone tells me I can't, and I don't really want to. It's one of the few things that gives me so much joy.
My girl is brave. She tells me just wait until September, when we'll be on holiday. And all I can think of is .. a month? Can't it be a year? Two years? After all, I have so much I want to do. Most of it involves simply standing still.
I used be a deep thinker, now that is only seen as a distraction, from the things I forget in front of me. It might be ordinary, but I used to handle that shit. In fact, I used to handle ten times the amount of pressure I'm feeling now.
So what next?
Oh well, no time, gotta get some sleep. Big day tomorrow.
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